Why God Sometimes Lets Us Reach Empty

We’ve all been there… hit that wall, flopped backward, and contemplated not getting back up. I’ve been there many times, and I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge the question in the back of my mind when I did—how could God let me reach this point, and why?

Let me tell you a story. After I had my first baby, I struggled with postpartum anxiety. It went untreated for a long time. The anxiety spilled into every aspect of my life, including work. When he was about eighteen months old, we decided it was time to have another baby. God basically said, “Oh, no, Honey…you have some things to do before you’re ready for that.”

Hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it? With already crippling anxiety, adding a second child to the mix while working a full-time frontline social service position was not a great plan, was it? I’m not the best listener… God had to issue some tough love to get my attention.

Three miscarriages, knee surgery, an emergency appendectomy, losing my job, spending a year in a more stressful job, a full year of trying and failing to get pregnant, the terrifying leap of faith it took to leave the workforce and stay home with our then five-year-old, and addressing my anxiety were necessary steps. This was God letting me reach the end of my rope, drawing me closer to Him and to the place He wanted me to be. First, He needed to empty my cup, so it could be refilled with what He wanted for me.

I firmly believe God allows seasons of depletion, such as the one I describe above, to draw people closer to dependence on Him. Sometimes we see these seasons as punishment, but that is not God’s way. God lets us reach emptiness as a teachable moment. Scripture shows us that emptiness often precedes renewal.

Why does God sometimes let us reach empty before He steps in? Let’s talk about it.

It’s an Invitation

Tears and snot streamed down my face as I lay on a hospital gurney, awaiting my OB-GYN for a D&C, just a few feet from women in labor. Feeling invited was a far cry from home plate. I felt punished. The reality, though, looking back, was God protecting me.

It took me a while to realize this, but that moment was an invitation to reframe my mindset. I was asking Him the wrong question. Shifting the focus from asking what I did wrong to whom I am being invited to trust opened the door to seeing that what happened wasn’t God’s anger but a call to look to Him to fill my cup.

Emptiness Precedes Renewal

In Psalm 23:1-3 (NIV), David explains that emptiness precedes renewal. “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”

Notice that the Shepherd makes us lie down. Sometimes, depletion is God lovingly forcing a pause because we wouldn’t stop running otherwise. Renewal happens only after we accept rest.

From the story above, I found rest after deciding to stop trying to have a baby on my timeline and after listening to God’s voice in my heart, which told me that working in social services was not what He wanted me to do.

Of course, that path was not the path of least resistance, especially when finances were concerned… but what I received was worth more in the long run. Rather than continuing to strive, I received rest. He has blessed us and taken care of us ever since.

In our weaknesses, we seek Him, and that is where hope and grace not only live, but thrive. He provides strength in these moments that we could never achieve on our own.

The apostle Paul explains beautifully in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV) the importance of the thorn. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I’ve sung “Jesus Loves Me” to all three of our babies and my niece. This Scripture brings that home: “For I am weak, but He is strong.”

For Paul, his “thorn” wasn’t a punishment, but a safeguard for his ego. It’s when we hit that wall and fall to our lowest point that God can fully show us His strength.

Shifting From Striving to Receiving

I think the first step in reframing how we see emptiness is to identify when we are expected to continue striving and when we are invited to receive. Here are some indicators I find helpful in discerning the difference.

Closed Doors

When the usual coping mechanisms, hustle tactics, or problem-solving skills are suddenly yielding no results, God may be blocking your self-reliance. This isn’t His idea of punishment, but rather an invitation to receive rather than an expectation to keep striving.

An Inability to Fake It

This is probably the biggest tell for me. I pride myself on my ability to smile through pain, but when I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to wear the “I’m fine” mask, I know that’s a sign my cup is empty and that I need to spend time with God. This vulnerability is an invitation to be authentic before Him.

He wants us to spend time with Him in the Bible and in prayer.

A Desperate Need For Quiet

This is different from simply being an overstimulated mama. When you notice a sudden distaste for the noise, busyness, and demands of life, it is very likely your soul is reaching out for “quiet waters” (Psalm 23:2, NIV).

Resting in the Empty Spaces

When we’re deep in the trenches of life, it’s easy to lose ourselves and be unable to see beyond our current circumstances. It’s important to remember that no matter how painful, isolating, or persistent a season is…they are just that—seasons. Seasons are temporary, my friend.

A year after putting down what clearly wasn’t meant for me, a few weeks before Christmas, I learned I was pregnant. We delivered a happy, healthy boy. Eighteen months later, our precious rainbow baby had a baby brother.

Two years later, I was accepted into grad school, and I’ve been writing ever since. The takeaway that I learned was that my cup needed to be emptied before it could be filled with what I was meant to have.

If you’re feeling that way, remember that God is preparing restoration and blessings specifically for you, and you will come out on the other side “strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10, NIV).