Surrender: Letting Go of the Pressure To Do and Be It All

How often will your daughter set unreasonably high expectations for herself? Whether it’s her work or the way she looks, it’s likely that she’ll put more pressure on herself than anyone else ever could.

Moms, how often do WE stop and think about where our worth as women truly lies or whose definition of success and beauty is the one that actually matters?

If we want to support our girls to know that beauty is a product of living out the truth, we are responsible to help them understand what that means …

Real beauty isn’t measured by ever-changing cultural trends. It is not defined by individual expectations.

That’s the first step in helping her release the desire to be something she is not. 

Here are two truths she can cling to when the world tries to convince her otherwise.



1. Her feelings are not facts. 

What we feel often becomes our truth. Whether it’s accurate or not, once we get something in our head, sometimes we convince ourselves it’s legitimate. It’s no different when it comes to feeling beautiful.

She may not wake up every day, look in the mirror and think, “Wow, I look fantastic,” and that’s totally fine. Beauty and worth are not interchangeable. Looking beautiful is not the same as being valuable. Her physical appearance does not change what she’s worth or the difference she was created to make in the world.

2. She’s a masterpiece AND she’s under construction. 

For her, believing that God spoke beauty and worth into her existence is easier said than done. At the end of the day, she will still be inundated with messages that attempt to steer her in the opposite direction. Changing her thought processes concerning beauty and worth will take time — and a whole lot of grace.

Some days are going to be easier for her than others. Some mornings she’ll wake up and believe what He says about her. But there will also be days when she looks in the mirror and chooses to agree with what the world tells her. There will be highs and lows, but believing she possesses inherent and eternal worth will be a process.

You get to show her that no one is perfect, that you’ve struggled just as much to have grace for yourself and grace for the process and progress you’re making.

Be honest with her, be vulnerable. Allow the truth to wash over you daily. Teach her that real beauty has nothing to do with her mirror and everything to do with her Maker. 

Have an amazing day!

If you’re looking to equip your daughter with the tools and skills she needs to succeed, you’ll want to check out my HEARD book series. It’s a five-step approach to personal growth and development that makes it easy for you to guide the conversation about beauty, identity, and purpose with your girl. 

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