The Beauty of Brokenness: How Marriage Mirrors the Cross

At its innermost core, marriage is more than a legal or social contract; it is a sacred covenant, a living quilt sewn with the threads of joy and sadness, triumph and test. In its intricate pattern, we find a sturdy yet often challenging symbol of the greatest sacrifice: the crucifixion of Christ.

Just as Christ voluntarily accepted suffering and brokenness for the sake of His Bride, the Church, tribulations and sacrifices in marriage also afford a unique path toward increased oneness and a profound understanding of Christ’s boundless love.

The very nature of marriage, the promise to “forsake all others,” is reminiscent of Christ’s unyielding devotion to His people. He renounced the glory of heaven, assuming the form of a human being and the frustrations that come with it, for the sake of a relationship with us—to save us.

Similarly, being a part of marriage involves a conscious laying aside of personal autonomy, a decision to subordinate the needs and well-being of another to one’s own desires. This daily sacrifice of self, though at times difficult, is an imitation of Jesus’ selflessness.

Philippians 2:7-8 (NIV) tells us that Jesus “made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

Finding Unity in the Rough Edges

The inevitable conflict that arises in a marriage—disagreements, misunderstandings, unmet expectations—can feel like the rough edges of the cross.

These moments of conflict often expose our selfishness, pride, and need for our own ways. But it is in these very moments of brokenness that the potential for deep growth and oneness lies with both our spouse and God.

Just as the burden of the cross ultimately initiated resurrection and reconciliation between man and God, so too can a commitment to labor through marriage conflict in grace and humility initiate a better, more durable union.

The Sacrifice of Forgiveness

When one partner wounds the other through words or actions, the natural inclination might be to hold onto resentment or demand retribution. However, Scripture calls us to a higher standard.

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) instructs us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This act of extending forgiveness, even when it feels undeserved, mirrors the unconditional forgiveness offered to us by Christ on the cross.

It requires a commitment to lay down our anger and to give up our desire for justice in exchange for reconciliation. This sacrifice, as painful as it is, makes way for healing and deeper intimacy.

Daily Devotion: Bearing Burdens as Christ Bears Ours

The daily sacrifices of building a life together—the sacrifice of professional ambitions, the sleepless nights caring for a sick child, the financial strain of supporting a family—can be seen as little acts of love that cumulatively speak of Christ’s unwavering commitment to His Church.

Jesus bears our burdens, comforts us in sorrow, and provides for all our needs. Similarly, in marriage, the spouses are called to bear one another’s burdens, to comfort and support one another when pressed, and to struggle together to maintain their shared life.

Galatians 6:2 (NIV) charges us to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Embracing Vulnerability: Seeing Christ in Our Weakness

Embracing periods of brokenness in marriage, rather than resisting them, allows us to reach a deeper expression of Christ’s love. Of course, it is easier to choose the path of least resistance, the non-confrontational route. But the easiest way is not always the best way.

As we are hurt by misunderstanding or laid bare by taking responsibility for our fallibility, we glimpse the suffering of Christ, who hurt for us. His broken form and shed blood were the supreme demonstrations of love, a gift given to fill the gap opened by our sin.

Similarly, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with our spouse—when we acknowledge our own brokenness and move toward reconciliation—we create a space for deeper intimacy and understanding.

The Redemptive Path: Growth Through Marital Trials

This is not a permission to create conflict or intentionally inflict hurt in our marriage. Rather, it suggests that when troubles inevitably arise, we are to meet them with a humble heart and open mind to learn and grow.

Just as the disciples could not always understand the mission of Christ’s suffering, perhaps we, too, are not able to understand the redemptive power in our marriage troubles. But if we pray, keep the avenues open, and remain devoted to loving our wife or husband with the same devotion that Christ showed us, we can get to the place where we don’t see these moments as obstacles but as opportunities for deeper intimacy and spiritual growth.

Reflecting the Ultimate Love: The High Calling of Marriage

Ultimately, the journey of marriage, with its challenges and self-denials, is a good metaphor for life with Christ.

It invites us to a sacrificial love, a forgiving heart, and a determination to bear one another’s burdens. In embracing the times of brokenness, in choosing oneness rather than fragmentation, and in reflecting Christ’s sacrificial love in our daily interactions, we come to the core of God’s heart and experience the fierce and life-changing power of His love in the most intimate of human relationships.

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) directs, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is the call to excellence in marriage, a call to reflect the ultimate sacrifice and discover the depths of Christ’s love in the heat of our shared life.