Does Your Marriage Reflect Jesus in These Ways?

Society is loud. Love isn’t meant to be. Love should be a quiet, safe, and peaceful space.

If marriage is a reflection of love, then your marriage should arguably mirror Jesus. How do we do that, though?

Specifically, there are five seemingly ordinary behaviors we engage in that quietly point others toward Jesus. These also have the added benefit of being healthy for your marriage.

Patience, forgiveness, hospitality, humility, and faithfulness are not merely social graces; they are theological signposts pointing to the nature of Christ, most clearly seen in the covenant of marriage.

Let’s talk about them.

Patience.

Patience is more than just waiting. The task at hand is to refuse to become provoked under the pressure that waiting can inflict.

We live in a world of sound bites, hot takes, and instant gratification, not to mention “cancel culture.” Not to sound all Mission Impossible, but your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fill the role of “witness.” In a sense, with all five of these behaviors, we can witness to others without saying anything directly.

When we serve as witnesses, we strive to remain steadfast and kind. This points people toward a God who is “slow to anger.”

Shifting gears from Mission Impossible to The Princess Bride— “Awe, Mawwage.” What is the connection? Marriage is the ultimate training exercise for patience.

The symbolism of Christ’s long-suffering love for the Church as a model of patience in marriage is poetic and very true.

What does patience look like in marriage? Since no two marriages are the same, it’s hard to say.

But perhaps it’s not getting mad when he can’t seem to hit the hamper or when she doesn’t break down Amazon boxes so they are balanced on the trash bins like Jenga blocks.

When we practice giving grace to the person we love most in the world over the small stuff, the bigger stuff becomes much easier. It’s like stretching and running every day. Over time, you get stronger and faster at it.

And people will notice. Ephesians 4:2 (NIV) explains that God wants us to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Forgiveness.

When we practice forgiveness regularly, muscle memory steps in, making it easier to let go of our perceived right to retaliation. So when situations become more serious, we can model our reactions after Jesus and forgive an “unforgivable” slight.

This disrupts the toxic cycle of bitterness, allowing people outside the marriage and situation to observe and ponder what power could have enabled such a release.

A healthy marriage is a union of two people who set the intentional goal of being great forgivers. Think about it this way. Just as with patience, when we forgive daily irritations, we mirror a core message of the gospel.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) instructs us to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Hospitality.

Hospitality extends beyond entertaining. It can be a spiritual practice that makes others feel welcome, including family, friends, and even strangers. But how does hospitality look in marriage, and how does it reflect Christ, specifically?

A Christ-centered home is a sanctuary. The way a couple welcomes others reflects the hospitality of the Kingdom of God. The scripture supports this assertion as Peter writes in 1 Peter 4:9 (NIV) that we are to “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

Humility.

We live in a youth-and-beauty-centric world where self-promotion is seemingly proclaimed from the rooftops. But the person who elevates others shines in a way that cannot help but reflect Jesus.

In marriage, humility ends the power struggle. When we choose to serve our spouse’s needs above our own, we are essentially mimicking Christ, who washed the disciples’ feet. There is beauty in that.

Christians are to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, NIV). When we do this quietly for our spouse, others notice.

These small actions point most authentically to Jesus.

Faithfulness.

Marriage is a marathon. It’s the long game. The key to faithfulness is consistency over time, including being reliable even when it isn’t convenient.

Let me give an example. My husband and I had been married for a couple of years. I am not a comfortable driver.

In fact, back then, I often took back roads everywhere. I had to drive for my job, so this sweet man would map out my route and then take me on a dry run every time I had to go somewhere.

One time, while I was giving my presentation, the city dared to begin construction on the only road I knew how to get home on. I needed to make a U-turn, and it would have been fine, but my brain’s panic attack didn’t see that logic at the time.

My husband left work to drive an hour so I could follow him home. That’s my anchor in any storm.

He is consistently kind and patient with me, and he faithfully shows up whenever I need him, no matter how silly I’m being. Over twenty years later, I can make a U-turn, so growth has happened, too.

When we show up and keep our promises, especially in the flaky world we live in, all signs point to God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

The marriage vow is the closest human expression of God’s faithfulness. That consistency we discussed earlier builds trust that endures through “better or worse.” It’s the closest earthly picture of God’s covenantal love.

Proverbs 3:3 (NIV) reminds us to “let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”

Home is Where the Heart Is.

Patience, forgiveness, hospitality, humility, and faithfulness are simple, ordinary, daily behaviors that we, as Christians, should practice in every situation. When we practice them in marriage, something beautiful happens—we quietly point others to Jesus.

The Apostle Paul alludes to this in Ephesians 5:31-32 (NIV) when he explains, “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

You don’t need a platform with tens of thousands of followers to witness for Christ. All you need is to live your life and practice patience, forgiveness, hospitality, humility, and faithfulness, especially in our marriages, as Christ does for the Church.