5 Grace-Filled Ways to Honor Your Mother-in-Law This Mother’s Day

Relationships with our mothers-in-law can be complicated. So, it’s no surprise that Mother’s Day can sometimes feel awkward or uncomfortable. Cue the strained smiles, the obligatory FaceTime, and the quiet hope you don’t say the wrong thing. Often, we end up focusing mostly on honoring our mothers and letting our husbands handle theirs.

But even though the relationship might be messy with your mother-in-law, it’s not hopeless. So, what if this Mother’s Day, instead of seeing your relationship with your mother-in-law as a duty, you saw it as an opportunity? A chance to show the same grace Jesus has shown you? A chance to live out Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

That one verse? It can change everything—even the tricky family dynamics—when we choose to live it out. Here are 5 ways to honor your mother-in-law with grace this Mother’s Day.

1. Listen Without Defensiveness

Your mother-in-law raised your husband, so it’s natural that she has a unique perspective on him, parenting, marriage, and home life. Grace gives her space to share her thoughts, even when they show up uninvited. Listening calmly and respectfully (whether you agree or not) lets your mother-in-law know that you value your relationship with her.

And, hey, sometimes it’s not easy. Navigating those conversations with grace requires wisdom and tact. Abigail’s story in 1 Samuel 25 demonstrates how listening without defensiveness can transform tense situations. When David was furious and ready to destroy her household because of her husband’s insult, Abigail responded with wisdom and humility. Her approach calmed David’s anger and protected her home. You can do the same.

Grace in Action: The next time she offers unsolicited advice, pause and listen. Ask questions to understand her heart. Then respond with, “That’s an interesting perspective. I’ll give that some thought.” You’re not making promises, but you are showing honor.

2. Appreciate Her as a Whole Person

Your mother-in-law is more than just your husband’s mom. She’s a woman with her own story, strengths, and God-given purpose. Grace helps you look beyond the mother-in-law label to see the whole person. Ask God for help noticing what makes her her.

My mother-in-law has a garden that looks like something out of a magazine, so I always check with her before pruning my hydrangeas, especially since they came from her backyard! Maybe yours is a prayer warrior, makes the best cakes, or is the kind of woman who can find a deal anywhere. Whatever her thing is, recognize her for it.

Grace in Action: This Mother’s Day, ask her about something she loves to do. Let curiosity guide the conversation, and watch what happens when someone sees her, not just her role.

3. Speak Well of Her to Others

Words carry power. The way you talk about your mother-in-law in front of your kids, your husband, or even your friends can either build bridges or deepen divides. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Even one kind comment—spoken sincerely—can shift the tone of your relationship.

Grace in Action: Share something you admire about your mother-in-law in a conversation or on social media this Mother’s Day. It could be as simple as, “She always makes our kids feel loved,” “Her strength inspires me,” or even “I love her potato salad!”

4. Release Past Hurts Without Keeping Score

Before my friend’s wedding, her future mother-in-law told her, “I don’t give engraved gifts anymore, because marriages don’t last.” Ouch. My friend carried around that hurt for years, feeling like her marriage was already discounted before it even began.

Even if your experience isn’t exactly the same, the sting of a careless comment or ongoing tension might still linger. Perhaps it was something your mother-in-law said on your wedding day, the way she critiques your parenting, or how she not-so-subtly drops hints about your home. These wounds stay with us long after she forgets about them.

Let’s be clear: grace doesn’t mean ignoring unhealthy behavior or pretending everything’s fine. But when the door is even slightly open, God’s grace can still enter. And when the pain feels heavy, we can turn to the way Jesus has loved us. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) He didn’t wait for an apology. He led with love.

Grace in Action: Write down the hurts—big or small—on slips of paper. Pray over each one, then tear them up or throw them away. It’s a small act of surrender, symbolizing your choice to release them and let God carry the weight.

5. Honor Her Role in Your Husband’s Life

You may not have picked your mother-in-law as a friend, but you certainly picked the man she raised to be your spouse. And that alone is worth honoring because she played a part in shaping him! Recognizing her influence doesn’t erase the hard stuff. But it can gently shift your heart toward grace.

Ephesians 6:2 reminds us, “Honor your father and mother… so that it may go well with you.” Honor opens the door to healing–not just for her, but for you too.

Grace in Action: This Mother’s Day, write her a simple note. Thank her for one thing she passed on to your husband that you genuinely appreciate. It might begin to release years of tension or simply bless her with a kind word she didn’t see coming.

A New Mother’s Day Tradition

This year, lean into grace. Even small acts of grace can soften hearts and shift family relationships. When we release resentment and choose forgiveness, peace follows, and grace multiplies. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

A Prayer for You This Mother’s Day

Heavenly Father, Thank You for the gift of family, even when it’s complicated. Help me extend grace to my mother-in-law the way You’ve extended grace to me. If my heart has grown hard, please soften it. Heal old wounds. Give me wisdom in what to say and when to listen. Let my words and actions reflect Your love. May this Mother’s Day be a step toward deeper peace and renewed connection. In Jesus’ name, Amen.