Dr. Gary Chapman has been teaching millions of people about the five love languages for decades through The 5 Love Languages book series. These love languages are a code to help you understand how your husband receives love. The five love languages are:
- Acts of Service: Actions speak louder than words.
- Gifts: What makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
- Quality Time: Nothing says “I love you” like your full, undivided attention.
- Words of Affirmation: Your unsolicited compliments and encouragement mean the world to this person.
- Physical Touch: Nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch.
Which of these love languages best describes you? Your spouse? We tend to express love to others in the same way we prefer to receive love. For instance, if you love gifts and your husband loves words, you might present an extravagant birthday gift as he wonders why you wrote so little on his card. He would have preferred a less expensive gift and your heartfelt letter.
Getting our wires crossed is easy, especially during the holiday season. Here are 20 love language-specific ideas to show your husband you love him and that you’re so grateful God put him in your life.
Acts of Service
- Fill his car with gas and get it washed.
- Make one of his favorite meals for dinner.
- Vacuum his office or the bedroom.
- Dust his desk and straighten up (as long as he can find everything!).
- Buy him a T-shirt from his favorite sports team.
- Put a favorite snack food like chips or candy in the car for him.
- Get him a $20 Amazon gift card and tell him to get whatever he wants for himself.
- Give him a pumpkin something – a muffin, cookie, pancake, latte, ice cream – and tell him you’re incredibly grateful for him this season.
- Watch or attend a sporting event with him.
- Next time he runs errands, go with him to keep him company.
- Leave your phones in the car on a date night and enjoy uninterrupted time together.
- Take a leisurely walk around the neighborhood after dinner together.
Words of Affirmation
- Put post-it notes all over the place–the car, bathroom mirror, refrigerator, steering wheel, inside a book he’s reading–write something you appreciate about him on each note.
- At dinner, tell him three things you appreciate about him.
- Pick one of these (or all) to tell him today: You are incredibly talented and capable. I respect you. Your sense of humor brings joy to our house. You are handsome.
- Encourage him through a text. If you’re not sure of what to say, here’s a prompt: “My life without you would be __________. My life with you is _________. I am so thankful I have you, babe!”
- Give him five kisses throughout the day and make at least one more than 5 seconds long.
- Make him a coupon for a ten-minute massage. You can add: Redeemable before 9:30 pm (or whatever cut-off time you want).
- When you are out on a date, don’t act like it’s a business meeting. Hold hands, sit close, hold each other, and kiss. Act affectionately like when you were dating.
- Even when the holidays get busy, schedule time for physical intimacy and let your husband know you desire him.
We all need to feel loved. Take the time to identify your spouse’s love language and speak it frequently. If you need to discover your spouse’s love language (or your own), you can take the free quiz at www.5lovelanguages.com