How to Carry Your Invisible Load Without Losing Your Mind

Suitcases scatter about the living room and into the bedrooms. Unpacking from a family trip is no joke. Though memories help soften the blow of re-entering the daily tasks of life, the weight of laundry baskets tangibly represents the invisible mental load we carry as parents alongside the fun. Illnesses, deadlines, doctor appointments, sports tryouts, school clothes, bank balances, commutes, meal planning, and on and on.

Our calendars mark destinations, but what about the hour-long commute with fussy kids and a snack-filled car? Or how about the hurried shuffle out the door, looking for lost shoes and misplaced water bottles? The unexpected and the overwhelming pile high on the invisible mental loads we carry around with us. So, allow this truth-filled encouragement to help you continue without losing your mind.

Ask for help.

Why is it so difficult for us to ask for help? I think it’s because we feel like life shouldn’t be difficult for us. We want to live self-sufficient, independent lives, yet God reminds us repeatedly that we are designed to be needy. Jesus reminds us that our neediness is a doorway into greater dependence on Him. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, His strength is made perfect in our weakness, then continues to say that we should gladly boast about our neediness, for that is when the power of God is more tangibly felt.

Further, as we hunger for help, God promises to hear our prayers and work for our good. As we thirst for rest, Jesus declares that he is our living water. And, as we attempt to juggle the demands around us, carrying loads of responsibility, God reminds us that He alone holds all things together. So, let’s start each day asking for His help and declaring His goodness.

Release what is not yours to carry (and control).

As a parent of teens and college-aged children, I’m focusing more in this season on releasing what is not mine to carry. In the early years, it’s natural to feel like it’s up to us to fix every problem, which usually includes sweet treats and band aids. But that changes quickly, doesn’t it?

I’ll be honest. I am better at asking for help than I am releasing what is not mine to carry. Each day, I begin to pick up worries and problems that I assume are mine to fix, but God reminds us in Matthew 11:28-30 that He does not desire for us to carry the heaviness of life on our shoulders, as if the outcome is up to us. He beckons us to draw near and, in doing so, remember that we are enabled to release that which we cannot control.

Name what feels heavy.

Growing up, my friends from church had a question we would ask every time we saw each other: How is your heart today? We each knew that question covered highs and lows, joys and sorrows, celebrations and disappointments, as well as the things that weigh heavily. Often, we carry around an invisible load of life full of worry and anxiety, but cannot ever pinpoint the root of it.

I’ve discovered through prayer, journaling, and processing with others that if I can name what feels heavy, then it accomplishes two purposes: it is better placed in its proper place under the authority of God (and out of my mind!) and allows me to pray for it specifically. Perhaps much of what you are carrying today goes unnoticed, so allow me to ask you: how is your heart today? What feels heavy? Take a minute and write that down in a place that you can cover with prayer.

Find your fighter verses.

Once you have written down what feels heavy in this season, especially that which others are not aware of, take a moment to combat those worries with the peace and truth of Christ. I call these fighter verses. For each burden, match it with a promise of God that provides a solid foundation for you to rest upon. If nothing else, as you fight the battles of your mind, remember that despite how large a situation seems, the Bible reassures us in 2 Chronicles 20:15 that the battle is not ours, but ultimately the Lord’s. And the battles He fights, He wins.

So then, “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” (1 Timothy 6:12)

Celebrate what is good.

One of the most underrated strategies for counterbalancing the weight we carry is to celebrate what is good in our lives. Often, when the burdens of life weigh heavily, it’s easy for our gaze to remain fixed on the difficulties rather than the blessings. Most of us are familiar with gratitude lists, but take it one step further. Acknowledge what is good and celebrate it with an action. Gather with friends, feast on a delicious meal, and take an afternoon to enjoy an activity you love because you can.

When we celebrate the good things in our lives, it is worship of God. Worship balances out the weights of this life, especially the ones that no one else sees. Because Psalm 23:6 reminds us that “goodness and mercy shall follow us all of the days of our lives,” then we always have reason to celebrate.

Remember God sees.

For the moments when you feel invisible to the world around you, remember Psalm 8: 3-4.

“When I consider your heavens,

the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

human beings that you care for them?”

King David reminds us that the God of this universe is mindful of us, cares for us, and sees us. God sees not only the outside of us but the invisible parts of us, our hearts. (1 Samuel 16:7) What comfort!

Much of our parenting journey remains unacknowledged, unnoticed, and unseen. Because of that, we may be tempted to parent in a pattern of performance, looking for man’s praise rather than an identity of purpose born out of a God-given calling. A life of performance over purpose leads to burnout.

While the weights of this world never cease, we are invited to claim the truth of Christ as foundational stepping stones for us to continue our journey of faith, assured that nothing is out of God’s attentive care.

So, take the trips, finish the laundry, wash the dishes, make the doctor appointments, but remember your days are never invisible to God, who sees you and helps you carry the load.