3 Simple Steps to Abiding With Jesus

When I was in Elementary School, I remember watching a presentation on fire safety. Afterwards, my teacher enthusiastically had my class repeat the phrase, “Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll!” We sang this mantra over and over again, year after year, so that we would respond instinctively should we ever find ourselves covered in flames.

Thankfully, I have never needed it. But I’m grateful to know what to do if it happens!

Those teachers knew the value of simplicity and repetition.

Do you ever feel like the Christian life has become too complicated? These days, we have so many denominations to choose from, so many opinions seeking to influence us, and so many voices telling us what to do. It can be overwhelming!

In John chapter 15, Jesus gives us a picture of what it looks like to abide in—or live with— Him. He says that just like a branch is grafted to a vine, so we are to be connected to Him. A branch cannot sustain itself. It is the vine that gives it life and strength, nourishing it with nutrients and providing a solid foundation for it to grow.

When a branch is connected to the vine, it flourishes and bears fruit. If it is removed from the vine, the branch eventually dies.

While I love this imagery, it can sometimes be difficult to implement in my own life.

I read the Bible.

I attend church.

I spend time in prayer.

But sometimes these holy habits (and others) feel more like checking a box than actually abiding with Jesus. I know they matter, but they don’t always carry over into my daily life.

Are they really impacting how I interact with my husband, handle stressful situations, or parent my children? Am I actually bearing fruit, or am I just going through the motions?

Then one day, “Stop, drop, and roll!” popped into my head, and I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if abiding were that easy? What if I could simplify the concept of abiding with Jesus into three simple words that form a repetitive cycle, such as…

Pause. Seek. Submit.

3 Simple Steps to Abiding With Jesus

1. Pause

The first step in abiding with Jesus is to learn to pause.

We must intentionally pause to spend time with Him each day, recognizing that we can do nothing on our own. If we want to become like Jesus, we need to spend time with Him, learning His ways and His heart. This lays the foundation for intimacy with Christ.

It also primes the pump for “pausing” as needed throughout our day. When we prioritize time to “pause and abide” at the beginning of a chaotic day, we are actually training ourselves to pause and abide in the midst of chaotic moments as well.

But how does that work? What do we do when we pause?

First, we worship. We remind ourselves that God is God and we are not. We acknowledge that He is the Vine and we are the branches—apart from Him, we can do nothing. This can be as simple as silently praying, “God, I know You’ve got this. Please help me!”

Doing this positions us to release control (or the illusion of control) and seek the Lord’s perspective.

2. Seek

The second step in abiding with Jesus is seeking His perspective.

Aligning ourselves with the Holy Spirit enables us to see ourselves, others, and our circumstances through His eyes rather than from our own limited viewpoint. It reveals what is in our own hearts.

1. Are we bringing our own baggage, fears, expectations, or biases into the situation?

2. Are we reacting based on feelings instead of responding with wisdom?

3. Is there something deeper happening than what we see on the surface?

Jesus was the master (literally) of truly seeing people. While the disciples were busy going about daily tasks, handling stressful situations, and managing what they saw as interruptions and challenges, Jesus saw things differently.

He heard the needy cries that others ignored. He felt the desperate touch of one woman amidst a sea of bodies on a crowded street. Looking up, he noticed the lone man hiding in a tree and invited him to lunch. Instead of shooing the children away, He let them climb up in His lap.

Likewise, the Holy Spirit enables us to hear what’s underneath people’s words, to get curious instead of combative, and to remember what really matters in each circumstance. When we take time to pause and seek His perspective, our path of obedience becomes clearer.

3. Submit

The last step in abiding with Jesus is to submit.

Surrendering our selfish desires or unrealistic expectations and seeing the situation from God’s perspective enables us to submit to His will and respond in obedience. We don’t have to stay stuck in our feelings. Instead of reacting out of emotion, we can choose to pause and worship, seek God’s perspective, and respond from a place of calm conviction.

The more we repeat this cycle, the deeper our connection with Christ develops.

We become more like Him. The fruit of His Spirit begins to grow and overflow into our lives.

We have more patience. More self-control. We parent from a place of faith, and we love others with compassion and kindness. Instead of grumbling and complaining, we begin to see God at work all around us. We are grateful.

Abiding with Jesus changes us.

Pause, seek, and submit. What if it’s really that simple?

I’m not saying it is easy, of course—denying ourselves and taking up our cross never is.

But Jesus didn’t promise us an easy life. In fact, He said the opposite. “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Joy and peace are ours if we make the effort to stay connected to Christ. We need time with Him at the beginning of our busy day and also in the middle of our messy moments.

This is what abiding looks like…

Pause. Seek. Submit. (Repeat)