Marriage is a divine institution that offers a unique opportunity for spiritual growth as a couple. I have found myself reflecting on growth and change a lot lately. My husband and I will celebrate our twenty-second wedding anniversary this year.
While pondering our longevity as a couple, it occurred to me that we are two entirely different people than we were when we got married at 23 years old. I mean, let’s consider that age for just a second. From a biological standpoint, we got married three years before our brains were developed entirely!
Youth, capacity, and inexperience combined with our pre-career, before children, and mortgage-free era arguably look a little different in hindsight. The point is that the early years of marriage are foundational for creating healthy habits and learning to cleave to one another. This is why it is essential to build a faith routine early on, as it prepares us for life’s challenges while deepening our walk with Christ…together as a couple.
Unity as a couple allows growth in faith together, as that unity also extends to spiritual unity. Moreover, strength and support in our partnership are spiritually applicable and necessary for growing in faith as well.
In those first baby steps in marriage, “a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, NIV). If we were reading instructions on growing together, this would be step one.
But in marriage, we play the long game. The best way to build momentum together is by building strength and support in our partnership, as illustrated in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV), where we work together as “two are better than one, because [we] have a good return for [our] labor: If either of them falls, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
You may be wondering how to build a faith routine together. These three recommendations have helped my husband and me: prioritizing shared devotional time, engaging in faith-based communities, and practicing financial stewardship with a kingdom mindset.
Consistent, intentional time spent in God’s Word and prayer together is paramount for spiritual growth in marriage. Reading the Bible together, discussing its application, and praying for one another and our marriage fosters unity and spiritual alignment. This isn’t just about individual quiet time but a shared experience.
Joshua 1:8 (NIV) is a good reminder for us to “keep [the Bible] always on [our lips]; meditate on it day and night, so that [we] may be careful to do everything written in it. Then [we] will be prosperous.”
There are a few ways to implement this time together in God’s Word. Below are a few practical application strategies to try.
Ideally, these should include church and small group opportunities. Being actively involved in a faith community provides support, accountability, and opportunities for service, all of which contribute to spiritual maturity.
It is important to attend church as a couple regularly. Participating in a small group or Bible study offers additional opportunities for fellowship, teaching, and a sense of belonging.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV) offers reasoning behind the importance of considering “how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as [we] see the Day approaching,” as it allows us to gather together for encouragement and growth.
Practical applications on how to begin engaging in the faith community can look like this:
Unifying our approach to finances around biblical principles cultivates trust, minimizes conflict, and demonstrates reliance on God’s provision. Tithing, budgeting together, and making financial decisions that honor God can be powerful spiritual disciplines. This isn’t just about money but about intentionally aligning our values and priorities with God’s.
Finances are always a hot-button discussion that many couples find a source of disagreement. In those early years, ideas of saving, spending money, and acquiring debt can cause conflict, to say the least, so deciding early on to view the topic as one more way to cleave as one flesh becomes instrumental.
Regarding developing financial wisdom and avoiding debt, Proverbs 22:7 (NIV) advises that “the rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” In connecting financial priorities with the heart’s devotion, Matthew 6:21 (NIV) reminds us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.”
Discussing finances during those foundational years prepares you to face challenges later as a team. There are a few ways to build this mindset:
Establishing these habits early on creates a strong spiritual foundation for marriage that allows room for growth in our faith and encourages it. It is essential to recognize that these routines are not just for good times but prepare us for life’s inevitable challenges, trials, and unforeseen circumstances.
Matthew 7:24-25 (NIV) discusses our call as Christians to remember “everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like the wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock.”
Marriage centered on Christ is the rock on which we build our home. When He is at the helm, we can deepen our walk with Him individually and as a couple, bringing glory to God as we grow together in our faith.