The transition from girlhood to womanhood is nothing compared to the changeover to wife and mother. Singleness is easy because you can make decisions based on how God is leading you or speaking with you, even if you’re still in your parents’ home.
Marriage and children are game changers when you become part of a couple and a family. Everything you do or decide will impact others, and everything must be done in consonance with your spouse. Being yoked together in a binding bond means you cannot operate alone but need to walk in oneness with your partner. Being a mother is quite enriching, but the welfare and care of babies are now added to the previous equation. In addition, you now have to function as a team with your spouse, not as an individual.
Marriage and motherhood bring changes and challenges that tax you and stretch your limits. Time is at a premium, energy is often lacking, emotions are on a rollercoaster ride, and you’re often tempted to throw in the towel but can’t.
In such a scenario, what should you do to maintain spiritual health and equanimity of being? How can you balance it all and effectively manage your multiple responsibilities?
If there is one thing that will help you keep your head above these waters, it is spending time with Him—worshipping and praising Him, reading and meditating on His Word, and pouring out your heart in prayer and petition. When there are young children in the home, this may seem to be improbable, but not impossible. The trick is to catch time with Him while doing chores and even while feeding or putting the baby to sleep. I’ve found that I’m able to spend time with Him as I cut vegetables, cook, do the laundry, or even travel to buy something or pick up kids.
Spending quality time with God, not quantity will quieten your inner being. It doesn’t matter that your schedule and duties give you maybe 10 or 15 minutes. Just a whiff of heaven with the advent of His presence will fill you with peace. You will then have the strength to face the day and whatever comes your way.
Do not neglect gathering together with the saints, for just being with other people of God will enrich your soul. The anointing and the word that flows when God’s people worship Him together make His presence more palpable and more refreshing than when you are in your times with Him!
If you’re to balance all your roles and the duties adjunct to them, plus spend quality time with God, you need to see that every minute counts. Having a rough schedule and allocating time for each task or chore helps you complete them and prevents procrastination. You don’t have to be a slave to your schedule, but minor and major setbacks can happen in many ways. Sticking to a flexible timetable helps you not fritter away time and saves you from related stress.
To use time wisely, pick and choose your activities and work, prioritizing the non-negotiable ones. Cooking, shopping, or cleaning, depending on your workload and finances, can be outsourced. Care for your spouse, children’s nurture, time spent together as a family, visiting parents and parents-in-law, attending children’s school functions, etc., must be your portfolio. Proverbs 31 shows a wise woman balancing her household chores, hobbies, work, children, and husband. Take your cue from her to be a wise woman who builds her home and not destroy it!
Neglecting your health will have repercussions on the prosperity of your soul and the propensity of your spirit. When the body is weak and ailing, emotions tend to go haywire and towards negativity. Patience wanes, anger waxes, temper flares become common, and forgiveness seems hard. In your weakened state, even a slight oversight or something done unintentionally can trigger squabbles or fights. A healthy body ensures a stable mind, controlled emotions, and an active will that takes positive action rather than lapsing into depression.
Eating on time, sleeping sufficiently, exercising enough, and having leisure activities will help us be fully functional beings. Even hurdles and troubles will not faze you, and your spiritual walk and growth will also be on par. We will know and rejoice in even the smallest grace of God, resulting in good health since the joy of the Lord is our strength.
A good diet plan, sleep cycle, recreation times, and proper exercise will give us the energy to handle all the challenges of marriage and motherhood!
Finally, learn not to isolate yourself from family and friends, especially those in the community of faith. They’re your support system, bolstering you with prayers, companionship, and other support. Download on godly women who can understand what you’re going through and guide you with wise counsel. Most women become victims of depression or are forced to seek therapy because they don’t reach out to the resources available in the community of faith. Granted, some do gossip and spoil relationships, but others have the experience and expertise to be there for you within the church.
Be accountable and open to a few chosen and tested women of God who are in the next phase of life to you. They will listen to you without judging you, remembering their walk of faith, encourage you with their love, and uphold you in their prayers.
Be part of a study group in church, learn God’s word, and join a women’s prayer group from church. Learning God’s word and asking for prayer when in trouble will raise a fortress of protection around you.
Relax with friends, and don’t shun wholesome outings and recreation times with them. Having a hobby that you share with others, gathering for a time of play, being part of family gatherings on special days, and even taking time to entertain others in your home is quite healthy.
Reach out to others in need, those who are less fortunate than you, and let generosity be your hallmark. Be aware of missionary outreach in your church or by others, and keep these in your daily prayers. Gather information about such work, share it with your family, and pray for it together. Your children will grow in the Lord and develop mission consciousness as well as compassion for the lost.
God didn’t create us to be islands of selfishness, and so we must know we’ve been placed in a community and society so that we do not succumb to the pressures of life. People are our buffers in times of trouble, so never fear reaching out to others. Encourage others to connect with you, too, and as the prayer of Francis of Assisi states, in giving, you will receive!
Managing marriage, motherhood, and faith is no easy task, but with intentionality and dependence on God, it is possible to thrive in every season. When we keep our spiritual lives rooted in Christ, steward our time and health wisely, and remain connected to others in our faith community, we create space for grace to flourish. Let us press on with courage, knowing that God has called us to this journey—and He will equip us with everything we need to walk it well.