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You're Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect

Holley Gerth
You're Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect

"How would your life be different if you truly believed you're loved just as you are?"Holley Gerth poses this compelling question at the start of her latest book. As someone who has connected with thousands of women, Holley has seen the dangers of becoming trapped by impossi... Read More

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"How would your life be different if you truly believed you're loved just as you are?"

Holley Gerth poses this compelling question at the start of her latest book. As someone who has connected with thousands of women, Holley has seen the dangers of becoming trapped by impossible standards of beauty, achievement, and even spirituality.

In You're Loved No Matter What, Holley shares how God wants to set the hearts of women free by revealing the lies we believe and the scandalous grace and acceptance offered to us instead. When we know we're truly loved, the response is to love in return--and that changes everything.

Lay down your unrealistic expectations and embrace who God created you to be, pursue his purpose for your life, and accept the love you've been freely given.

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Product Details:
Pages: 224
Release: 03/2015
  • Store Only: Yes
  • Product type: Book
  • Format: Softcover
  • Release Date: Feb 3, 2015
  • UPC: 9780800722906
  • Volumes/Discs: 1
  • Pages: 224
  • Publish Date: Mar 3, 2015
  • Language: English
  • Audience Age Maximum: 100
  • Audience Age Minimum: 18
  • Audience Gender: Female
  • BISAC: "REL012120"
  • ISBN: 0800722906

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Very insightful and powerful by Angie on 11/30/2015
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I am a huge fan of Holley Gerth! I keep up with her writings and am a subscriber to her blog. I was very excited to read “You’re Loved No Matter What” the title alone is very appealing – who doesn’t want to be loved no matter what right?!

The subtitle of Holley’s book is “Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect”. The theme of this book obviously is Perfection – and it’s a much needed topic to be talked about, I think we all at some degree have perfectionist tendencies.

“You’re Loved No Matter What” really dives deep into the what, how’s, and why’s of our need for perfection. I found this book to be very insightful and powerful. It should be read slowly to allow each chapter to sink in and reflect upon. Have a highlighter handy because you’ll need it.

Each chapter is filled with scripture and has questions to answer. There is also a “Go Deeper Guide” in the back of the book for further study as in individual or group. This book is filled with practical help, encouragement, and wisdom.

“You’re Loved No Matter What” has the potential to greatly impact your life if you truly let this book sink in. I highly recommend this book to all Christian women.

This reflective book would be a great companion for a spiritual retreat, individual or small group study. by Traci on 3/20/2015
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I dream of retreating to a monastery some day. The world is a noisy place and I do more than my share of contributing to it most of the time. Sometimes I just long for a place to reflect in silence.

If I ever get the opportunity to do a retreat like this, I’d take “You’re Loved No Matter What” by Holly Gerth with me. Right there in the bag with my Bible and pen.

Throughout the book, Holly explores our deep need to appear perfect. Why are we like this? How does it harm us? What can we do about it?

Early on in the book, she reminds us how beneficial making a mistake can be (yes, really) and how messing up in this way has different results than when we sin:
"Mistakes help us learn; Sin is a choice we deliberately make even though we know better."

"Mistakes are done with innocence; Sin comes from a heart that holds rebellion."

"Mistakes lead to growth; Sin leads to decay."

In addition to learning to be OK with making mistakes, Holly moves on to helping us realize the benefit of saying no. We fear looking less than perfect when we can’t do it all. But guess what, we can’t do it all! As she shares with us, even Jesus said NO.

In addition to being a writer, Holly is a certified life coach. Much of her book walks you through things she’d work with if you met with her one on one. This part in particular made me long for a time of retreat. Long periods of uninterrupted time to explore the various personality tests in chapter six. Time to think through what practical applications from chapter eight I could implement in my own life.

You can’t read this book in one or two settings. It’s a slow, reflective process.

Using a variety of Bible stories and Scripture, Holly drives home the point that our very best weapon against perfectionism is the realization that we serve a God who already loves us so much.

Just reading these words as a reminder made me sigh in relief.
"Through the years I’ve looked into the eyes of hurting women and asked, 'Do you really believe God loves you - not just tolerates you?'”

“In the Christian life, our focus is never to be on results. Instead it’s to be on remaining.” (see John 15:5)

Finally, she takes us from examining how much we believe God loves us to how this effects the way we treat other people.

Our striving for perfectionism negatively effects those around us. This book gives example after example.

In discussing the various ways, I underlined and highlighted this sentence:
"Gossip, criticism, and condemnation have one opposite: encouragement."

Every chapter ends with a series of questions to answer. In the back of the book, there is a “Go Deeper Guide.”

My reality is I don’t see myself getting away for a spiritual retreat any time soon. Chances are you don’t have that opportunity either. But this book could offer some real opportunity to reflect in the meantime.

You're not suppose to be perfect and God loves you just like that. by Amia on 3/20/2015
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If this book had a soundtrack I think I could list a couple handfuls of Dove Award winning Christian Artists who's songs might explain the depth of this book and I'd still not cover the full truth and definition of the wisdom Holley Gerth has poured out.

When a writer has surrendered their heart and hands to become the voice of God in a way that draws a multitude of people up to the table to have coffee and talk about the real stuff; you stop and you listen.

Having been introduced to Holley Gerth's coaching and ability to speak straight to the hearts of women through her previous writings I couldn't wait to dive into You're Loved No Matter What. I knew and trusted that her insight would lead me down a path I was already walking, where God was saying "this is the way, walk in it". What I didn't expect was the overwhelming recognition & fresh breath of "SHE'S SPENT SOME SERIOUS QUIET TIME WITH JESUS". Everything I've ever written from Holley Gerth is clearly & poetically evident of a personal application of faith, the scriptures and God's instruction.

But this book is so much more. This book is like an open letter. Like she journaled as she walked it out and God revealed the truth of who He is and it's written in a way that allowed us to walk it out, not with her, but like her. Kindred. Like iron sharpening iron.

In the chapter "The God Who Loves You More Than You Know" Holley asks the question: "Do you really believe God loves you-not just tolerates you?" She goes on to explain that somehow we've gotten the idea that God simply 'puts up with us' because He has to.

*The following excerpt gives you an insight into the light she sheds on breaking the mindset that we must be perfect in order for God to love us.
*****
"At the root of every human quest for perfection is a misunderstanding of God's love for us. Our hearts are made for love, and if we don't think we can freely receive it, then we'll try to earn it. God doesn't just love you; he IS love. God can't be unloving. God's love has not limits. God's love has no expectations. God's love has no requirements. God's love is not dependent on us. God's love has our ultimate good in mind. God's love can't be earned. It can only be received....In the Christian life, our focus is never to be on results. Instead it's to be on remaining. (John 15:5-9) We remain in God's love when we refuse to begin striving. We remain in God's love when we stop trying to be perfect. We remain in God's love when we simply receive it."

****

Holley Gerth offers a "new perspective that will change your life" not just on the topic of perfection but on the character of God, the issues of our hearts and why the two are inseparable.

Throughout the book she allows space for you to journal what the Lord may be speaking to you as you absorb her teachings and each chapter offers a deeper reflection/study.

If you're longing to set your heart free, to finally live beyond the shadows of perfection and walk into the light of Christ fully, completely, imperfectly but unconditionally loved, allow You're Loved No Matter What to be the key that unlocks the door.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family[c] in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21 ESV)

Holley speaks life in ways that I can only hope to be able to encourage others some day by Jennifer on 3/16/2015
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Holley Gerth is incredibly gifted with her words. I don’t know her personally, but I hope our paths cross one day so I can just tell her in person what she’s done for my confidence in the last few years.

So needless to say, when I received Holley’s new book, “You’re Loved No Matter What” in the mail a few weeks back I was excited. But I have a teensy weensy bit of a confession to make. I foolishly let myself think that Holley spoke all the life into me that she could. That she just couldn’t do any better than she already had in her previous books and I’d be reading some of the same words with a bit of a fresh twist.

Don’t get me wrong, we all need a fresh twist.

Yes, I’ll admit it. When I find a gem of a book I tend to think it can never be outdone. That God would send words through someone else this next go-around.

If you don’t already know where this is going you’re obviously sleep deprived and need to go grab yourself a cup of coffee and come back later because whoa.

was. i. wrong.

After all of my own personal flashbacks set in, I had to stop and consider the situation I was going through with my daughter. We were literally reliving the same problems I had as a kid.

It suddenly dawned on me what the issue was when I stumbled onto the following quote in Holley’s book: “God doesn’t hand out medals for performance. He hands out crowns for perseverance.”

***

So I found myself sitting on the edge of my bed chatting about talents with my oldest daughter. I told her that we can’t hide our talents from the world out of fear of failure. I told her that talents would never improve unless we put forth the effort to hone them. But that, even then, we might never hit this imaginary mark we feel we need to hit in order to receive praise. I carefully went over the words in Holley’s book and plainly stated the following: “There is no expectation on you but to persevere.”

I had no idea how much of an impact that statement would be for her but her attitude was adjusted almost immediately.

Her obvious solution was to give in and quit. But in all honesty, all she really needed was permission to tell herself that she didn’t have to be the best. She never once thought that perhaps she could stay in the game and have fun and never need to finish first.

***

Not only was I wrong about the idea that maybe Holley wouldn’t be able to speak any additional words into my life than she already had, but I had no idea that her words could impact a girl so young.

“You’re Loved No Matter What” is exactly what my growing girl needed to hear. She was dying on the inside because she believed she was failing. Holley was here to help me tell her that she had the love of God…and the love of her family…no matter what.

And you know what? She hasn’t mentioned quitting again…

Encouraging Words by Kimberly on 3/12/2015
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It's hard most days to truly let that truth sink in....He loves you, no matter what..... those are hard believed words for perfection and performance driven girls like me. When we take a look inside of who we are, who He is creating us to be, we can see His love and grace and mercy. And when we grasp that concept, then we are able to in turn live a life that looks to showing others His love.

Full of love and grace, we can receive all that is meant especially and exactly for us individually and collectively! by Kathleen E. on 3/12/2015
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Wednesday, March 11, 2015
You're Loved No Matter What by Holley Gerth, © 2015
Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect

A come-along-side book to study in a group or as part of your devotional time in a quiet setting, freeing your heart from the need to be perfect will blend into a love beyond measure in your relationship with God, Our Father. Discovering His purpose for our lives without distortion! As in a marriage, unrealistic expectations bog you down.

As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God.
--Psalm 42:1 ~ God's Word to the Nations

I love this example given, pages 91-92: There's an old story about two pots. One was perfect in every way. The other had cracks and broken places. Each day a woman filled the pots with rainwater she collect and then carried them down the path to her home. The first pot felt proud that she never leaked a single drop. The other felt ashamed, because no matter how hard she tried, she spilled a lot along the way.
One day the two pots overheard the woman talking with someone who lived nearby. The neighbor exclaimed, "The flowers along your path are so beautiful! What's your secret?"
The woman answered, "One of my pots is broken, and the water that spills out helps the flowers grow every day."

May we be open to what He is doing in and through our lives; His overflow allowed to pour out upon others. He is the freedom, allowing others to come alongside too. When we truly believe we're already loved, our lives become a response to God's love and we want to do what pleases Him.

Page 133 ~ When we live under perfectionism, we're following a system that has this progression:
Work ----------> Approval
But God switches the order:
Approval ----------> Work
When we do what we do as a response to knowing we're already loved and accepted, rather than as a way to earn love and acceptance, it changes everything.

And best of all ~ Holley notes she crossed out w-o-r-k-er and replaced it with w-o-r-s-h-i-p-e-r ~ page 187 ~ ...here's how we're meant to live, friends: with one handful holding tight to what God has given us--love, joy, peace, grace, goodness. And the other hand empty and open for whatever else he would have us receive.

I have entered a few things in my review that stood out to me ~ far smaller than the whole. Full of love and grace, we can receive all that is meant especially and exactly for us individually and collectively!

***Thank you to Revell Nonfiction for inviting me to be part of the blog tour for Holley Gerth's You're Loved No Matter What and for sending me a review copy. This review was written in my own words. No other compensation was received.***

Challenged and Inspired by Holley's new book by Kim Stewart on 3/9/2015
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Free my heart from the need to be perfect? I didn’t think that was an issue for me.

“At the root of every desire for perfection is simply this: fear.” ~ Holley Gerth, You're Loved No Matter What

Now fear is something I can relate to. When my friends ask “how are you”? My response is almost always “I’m fine”. I’m scared if they discover “who I really am”, then they won’t like me. And those fears lead to the desire for perfection. Now I get it.

“Fear held me back and held up the corners of my smile like strings on a puppet” ~ Holley Gerth, You're Loved No Matter What

Yes, Holley too, a best-selling author, counselor, and life coach, struggled with fear. Where did our fear-driven expectation to “be perfect” come from? Holley helps us identify that from the most common places she’s discovered. Then, through her own imperfect progress, she writes to share God’s truth with us that God’s love has no expectations:

“In every human relationship, we encounter expectations. But God doesn’t have any for us. He already knows our hearts, and therefore we can’t surprise or disappoint him.” ~ Holley Gerth, You're Loved No Matter What

Yes, we are loved no matter what.

I am a huge fan of Holley’s books. I just sit and read and imagine she's right here with me, lifting me up with her encouraging words. But this isn’t just a “feel good” book. Holley challenges us in each chapter with tools and space for self-reflection. Also included are action steps to help you immediately apply what you’ve learned from this book. And, as with her previous books, she also includes a Go Deeper Guide for more in-depth study of each chapter.

I highly recommend this book to women of all ages who are ready to face their fears and hear the truth that You’re Loved No Matter What.

My review is based on a quick read through (it's hard to put down). I look forward to joining Kristin Hill Taylor's online Book Club beginning March 16. Won’t you purchase a book and join us?

I received this book free from the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.


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