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Tag Archives: Anger

  • But I Have a Right to Be Angry

    Posted on October 11, 2013 by Tracie Miles

    Tracie Miles

    "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." (James 1:19–20 NLT)

    I had been lied to, betrayed, and hurt. I was angry and felt I had every right to be. Anger crushed my desire to forgive. Although I'd asked God to fill my heart with mercy, I kept a running mental list of justifications for my anger that overrode my empty prayers.

    My internal dialogue was one big argument. One voice tried to convince me I was justified in remaining angry; another voice tried to persuade me that mercy was the right choice. For months, the loudest voice was the one that indulged my damaged emotions: Yes, I have a right to be angry. Anyone would agree.

    Listening to the voice of bitterness and unforgiveness, I often lashed out with impatience and meanness. I could play the good Christian girl for short periods of time, but if something triggered my suppressed emotions, hostility and resentment catapulted to the surface.

    Reading Scripture one morning, I sensed God inviting me to consider the direction my anger was taking me and the damage it was doing. As I read the words from James 1, I couldn't help but notice how it says "everyone" should be slow to speak and slow to anger. This truth from God's Word left no room for my excuses or righteous indignation, even though I felt like my anger was justified. And then a few verses later, I read this: "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" (James 1:22).

    From a worldly perspective, I knew I had every right to be angry. But from God's perspective, my anger only added to the sin of the situation. My refusal to extend the same mercy and forgiveness God had given me was preventing me from living out the gospel.

    Through the words of James, God softened my heart. I acknowledged that although I said I'd forgiven this person with my words, I had not forgiven with my heart—and it was time to do so and move on.

    In every area of life, including managing our most powerful emotions, God tells us to be quick to listen (to Him and others), slow to speak, and slow to become angry. As we apply these practices in our relationships, we become doers of His Word, not just hearers, and that leads to the righteousness God desires.

    Dear Lord, please forgive me for harboring anger. Equip me with a supernatural ability to forgive those who have hurt me. Guard my heart when old emotions threaten to surface. Strip my heart of anger and replace it with joy. In Jesus' name, Amen.

    Remember
    Anger only worsens any situation, but selfless forgiveness brings freedom. We are all called to forgive even when wronged, just as God forgives us.

    Reflect
    Whom have you been harboring anger toward or withholding forgiveness from? Have these feelings caused you to feel bitter?

    Respond
    Pour out your heart to God today, telling Him how you feel. Then write out a prayer of forgiveness for the one who hurt you, surrendering that burden to God, and asking Him to replace your feelings of bitterness with peace and joy.

    Power Verses
    Ephesians 4:26–27; Ephesians 4:30–31

    Taken from Encouragement for Today: Devotions for Everyday Living by Renee Swope, Lysa TerKeurst and Samantha Evilsizer and the Proverbs 31 Ministries Team. © 2013 Proverbs 31 Ministries. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.

    Proverbs 31 Ministries
    630 Team Rd., Suite 100
    Matthews, NC 28105
    www.Proverbs31.org


    This post was posted in Daily Devotion, Proverbs 31 and was tagged with James, Anger

  • Avoid the Angry

    Posted on June 23, 2013 by Boyd Bailey

    Boyd Bailey

    Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. Proverbs 22:24-25

    Avoid the angry, and do not make friends with those easily angered. They are undependable and hard to get along with. You cannot predict what an angry person will do next. They may lie, lash out, sulk, blame, or even kill if their rage is left unchecked. The source of their anger may be as simple as not getting their way, or it may be a string of broken expectations all the way back to a wounded childhood. Your role is not to fix them or to be their therapist.

    However, the times you do have to associate with them can be an opportunity for you to model peace and calm. But be very careful; do not become like them. Their impatient ways may become your impatient ways. Their rude tendencies may become your rude tendencies. Their sarcasm may become your sarcasm. Their blowups may become your blowups. Yes, the angry can change, but real change will only occur as God heals their heart.

    Unless forgiveness penetrates an angry heart, it is destined to remain the same. Hard and stubborn is a heart driven by anger. Unless anger is gently unwound by grace and love, it may unleash its furor suddenly or may constantly simmer just beneath the surface. You may be the object of someone’s anger simply because you happen to be around them when they snap. They are a product of stuffed emotions.

    Some angry people are hard to avoid because you live with them. What now? You certainly pray for and with them. Pray earnestly for the angry person you live with to allow him or her to experience God’s love. The heavenly Father can squeeze out the venom of vengeance with His holy hugs. The love and acceptance of God can flush out foul language and faithless living. To be loved by God is to not remain angry, for the Lord’s love and anger cannot coexist. Unconditional love that is received melts the heart of anger.

    Be very careful to avoid business partnerships with the chronically angry. You will regret a relationship like that, and you will be angry with yourself for aligning with the angry. Even engaging with employees, vendors, and customers who are steeped in their anger is not healthy. God will provide more pleasant clients or staff. Cut loose those who linger, stew, and obsess over little things. It’s not worth it. They will never be satisfied with your service or your sincere encouragement.

    People driven by anger are never content; nothing you do will make them happy. Their anger may subside momentarily, but you will remain on pins and needles, waiting for them to erupt at any moment. In addition, angry children need to learn how to bring their hurts to their heavenly Father in prayer. Unprocessed hurt feelings will fester into anger. Help them to talk about why they have feelings of anger. What makes them mad at themselves? Unresolved anger is a time bomb waiting to explode.

    If you’re the one who’s angry, a safe environment to talk through your heated emotions is a great place to start on the path to peace. Channel your anger into proper passions that are sanctified by your Savior. Be angry at sin, while forgiving yourself and others. Avoid the angry, and release your own anger within to your heavenly Father above. Friendship with the angry creates angst with God. Friendship with the forgiven—and healed—promotes peace with God. Go with peace.

    Post/Tweet: Unless forgiveness penetrates an angry heart, it is destined to remain the same. #forgiveness

    © 2013 by Boyd Bailey. All rights reserved.
    Wisdom Hunters Resources / A registered 501 c3 ministry info@mail.wisdomhuntersdevotional.com / www.wisdomhunters.com


    This post was posted in Daily Devotion, Wisdom Hunters and was tagged with Proverbs, Anger

  • Love Avoids Anger

    Posted on February 19, 2013 by Boyd Bailey

    Boyd Bailey

    Love is not easily angered. 1 Corinthians 13:5

    Anger dismisses love in the moment, as hurtful emotional outbursts overwhelm any evidence of love’s presence. However, anger’s most feared enemy is love and forgiveness. Love can handle anger’s influence. It sees anger coming and prepares for its onslaught with a prayer for patience and forgiveness. Tempers are tempered when a culture of love surrounds relationships. Love does not allow anger to make itself at home in a heart that’s been hurt. It avoids anger.

    Has the someone who knows you the best hurt you most? Is it hard to love them because your pain screams for retaliation? If so, seek the Lord for an infusion of His fresh fire of love and forgiveness. Your unconditional love is needed most during times when your spirit has been crushed by an unlovely person. Let go of the need to inflict pain on the one who was insensitive to you. Grace and forgiveness are your tools of love that rebuild broken relationships. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

    “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. Luke 6:31-33

    Your love is a gift you give in exchange for an angry interaction. Rise above petty arguments and model for your mate a mature faith that doesn’t fight back in raw irritation. Because you have been loved supremely by your Savior you lavish the same unrestricted love on those who let you down. You replace an angry attack  on your adversary with patient restraint backed by heaven’s unlimited resources. You love much because you have been forgiven much by God.

    Let the Lord’s love lead you away from a focus that demands to be right and instead give room for flexibility and restoration. Dismiss the need to get your own way and own the need to love your loved one at their point of need. Like miraculous modern medicine apply the ancient ointment of love to disjointed, even diseased relationships. Remove the cancer of anger with the sharp scalpel of selfless love. The Lord’s love frees your heart to be a fierce lover for Him!

    Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little. Luke 7:47

    Prayer: Heavenly Father I receive Your limitless love, so I can aggressively love for You!

    Related Readings:Numbers 20:10-12; Psalm 106:32-33; Proverbs 14:17; Matt. 5:22; James 1:19

    Post/Tweet today: The Lord’s love frees our heart to be a fierce lover for Him. #love

    © 2012 by Boyd Bailey. All rights reserved.
    Wisdom Hunters Resources / A registered 501 c3 ministry info@mail.wisdomhuntersdevotional.com / www.wisdomhunters.com


    This post was posted in Daily Devotion, Wisdom Hunters and was tagged with 1 Corinthians, Anger, Love

  • Anger Managed Productively

    Posted on January 21, 2013 by Boyd Bailey

    Boyd Bailey

    “Then the word of the Lord came to Samuel: “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.” Samuel was angry, and he cried out to the Lord all that night.” 1 Samuel 15:10-11

    On earth, anger is always an issue. The godly are angered by ungodly actions and the ungodly are angered by godly actions. Samuel became angry over Saul’s disobedience and he grieves in prayer all night, because he knows this grieves God. It deeply disappoints a mentor when their mentee does not thoroughly follow the commands of Christ. Partial obedience is disobedience. Thus, anger is an indicator that the truth needs to be shared with the one who dismissed truth.

    We are wise not to stuff our anger, but ask our heavenly Father to heal our heart by giving us the courage to lovingly go to the one who has offended us. Stuffed anger incubates ugly stuff, but properly expressed anger invites attractive interaction. We cannot control an offender's reaction to our kind but clear words, but we can control how we communicate. We manage anger productively by not attacking another’s character, but by sharing the facts of how we hurt feel.

    “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.” Proverbs 15:1, The Message

    Moreover, make sure you have all the facts before you confront someone about their indiscretions. It is wise to listen to their side of the story, before you draw your conclusions. You do not want to make things worse by assuming inaccurate information. A person feels respected when they are able to give a response to your concerns. Ask reasonable questions that allow them to explain what seems to be inappropriate action. Love listens, learns, expresses and forgives.

     

    Most of all prepare your heart in prayer before you confront someone who has hurt you. Spirit-led confrontation gets the best results. Your offender's accountability is ultimately to the Lord. Jesus is their judge, not you, so trust Him to plant the seeds of your sensitive speech into the soil of their soul. They may not own up immediately to their actions, but that is between them and God. Manage your anger productively with caring confrontation and courageous conversation.

     

    “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Proverbs 18:17, ESV

     

    Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me the courage to confront with care when I have been hurt.

    Related Readings: Proverbs 27:17, 29:11; Mark 3:5; Luke 23:34; Ephesians 4:15, 29-31

     

    Post/Tweet today: Stuffed anger incubates ugly stuff, but properly expressed anger invites attractive interaction. #anger

    © 2012 by Boyd Bailey. All rights reserved.

    Wisdom Hunters Resources / A registered 501 c3 ministry

    info@mail.wisdomhuntersdevotional.com / www.wisdomhunters.com


    This post was posted in Daily Devotion, Wisdom Hunters and was tagged with 1 Samuel, Anger

  • Process Anger

    Posted on October 14, 2012 by Boyd Bailey

    “Saul tried to pin him to the wall with his spear, but David eluded him as Saul drove the spear into the wall. That night David made good his escape” 1 Samuel 19:10

     

    Process anger, or it will control your attitude and your actions. Anger is a self-fulfilling prophecy of destruction. It destroys peace and quiet and ravishes relationships. Anger is acidic, for it eats away at your credibility, your health, and eventually your ability to function successfully in life. Anger is an ugly emotion, as it easily embarrasses itself and humiliates others for sport. It has a way of expressing itself at the most inappropriate times. For example, one outburst of anger can turn a pleasant family drive to church into one full of fear and intimidation.

    Work environments build walls of distrust because of seething, unresolved anger. Relationships never get beyond the surface because of the fear of anger’s rejection. No one wants to be around an angry person. The Bible even says, “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy” (Proverbs 27:4). Where does anger come from? There are probably a variety of sources. One is the result of not being loved and/or not loving. When a heart is perpetually unloved, it has a void that is first influenced by, and then filled with anger. On the contrary, a heart full of love has no room for anger. Love melts anger the way the sun melts a milk chocolate bar at the beach. Cold anger is no match for the warm flames of love.

    Love responds with understanding, instead of seeking to argue or defend itself. Love learns to forgive instead of storing up resentment when you have been deeply disappointed. Love moves on instead of seething in the stew of what should have happened. Love matures over mistakes made, while anger whines in immaturity. Furthermore, anger incubates in a hurting heart. A heart raw with emotion is a candidate for anger. Suffering may be hurting your heart and you can’t take it anymore. Your heart is crushed and wrung out by pain. You are extremely vulnerable to the influence of anger, so let the compassion of Christ heal your heart. Invite the Lord to love  you, and process your pain in prayer. Listen intently to the Lord, for He really does care. He loves you right in the middle of your mess. Invite the love of Jesus to do surgery on your soul. After the Almighty has loved you, let others love you. Love is salve for your soul, as you need the love and prayers of people to help you process your anger.

    Moreover, you may be the brunt of another’s angry outbursts, but do not take their anger personally. See that person as Jesus does and extend forgiveness. Anger may be the defense mechanism another uses to keep you at bay. But kill him or her with kindness instead. Initiate forgiveness seven times seventy, and pray for this person to be loved by God and by you. Anger is an ugly mask, so unveil it with acceptance. Anger is your excuse to love and accept, not fight and flee.

    The Bible says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11). 

    Taken from October 10th reading in the 365-day devotional book, “Seeking Daily the Heart of God”… http://bit.ly/bQHNIE

    Post/Tweet: A heart full of love has no room for anger. Cold anger is no match for the warm flames of love. #anger #love

    Know your gift? Get a free “Spiritual Gifts Assessment” http://bit.ly/P4FYlw


    This post was posted in Daily Devotion, Wisdom Hunters and was tagged with Proverbs, 1 Samuel, Anger

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